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| Image from http://berto-meister.blogspot.com/2008/07/platos-allegory-of-cave.html |
Despite the fact that there are a plethora of physical therapists, the field as a whole is still relatively small. Breaking into this tight-knit community can be quite intimidating for anyone from a new student to a seasoned professional who wants to become more involved. But what happens if you find yourself face-to-face with somebody who isn't a great influence on either you or on the perceptions of others concerning you? Physical Therapists are all humans, and to err is to human. Sometimes fame and ego can get in the way of our Core Values and these individuals can be led astray. Then, in the process of the pursuit of their goals, other people can get caught in the crossfire. So within the tight-knit community of the PT world, what do you do? Should you keep that contact so you don't lose other contacts? Do you give up, move to Alaska, and find a new career? There are some that will advocate to keep that person in your life because very often, you can benefit in some professional way from that person, but I'm actually here to present the opposite side to you.
Now... let us dissent.
Everyone in their life, at least once, has been at the mercy of another person's greed, jealousy, or pride. I know that I have experienced this from the receiving side several times before, and have also been on the other end of it as well. This situation can occur in several different forms. Maybe it is a co-worker who advocates for social media for one thing, but then acts in a manner completely contradictory when others aren't looking. Maybe a classmate is nice to your face, but spreads dirty rumors behind your back and attempts to get the rest of the class to turn against you. Maybe it is someone in your personal life who uses your personal accomplishments and efforts to advance their own agenda. Whether it's an outright bully or someone who you consider to be a friend, the experience can be seemingly out of control and is scary no matter the circumstances in which it occurs.
What I am about to say are the words that every person in a relationship like this needs to hear: It is okay to walk away. You do not have to subject yourself to that sort of treatment, and you do not have to allow that person continued access to your time and energy. If you have a friend or a colleague that is not a positive and healthy influence in your life, then you have more than enough reason to take control of the situation and remove yourself from that dynamic. This is perfectly healthy and can help decrease your stress in ways you never thought possible. Do not feel like seemingly important people can't make mistakes. Good people make bad choices and bad people can make good choices. To think otherwise is to commit an ad hominem logical flaw.
Philosophical ethics have many view points on this topic. I am a huge believer in Kantian as well as Platonian ethics, and I believe that theses paradigms are relevant to the scenarios I listed above.
In Plato's Allegory of the Cave, true reality and one's perception of reality are challenged as being two separate entities. In essence, the story is about cave dwellers who have no access to the sunlight (or the truth), and use shadows on the wall (which are being produced by fire, not light) of the cave as a means to interpret the truth. This is similar to using rumors and gossip to infer a person's true character instead of approach the actual person. Toxic people utilize shadows to manipulate the truth and, unless you openly seek out the light, you aren't likely to find it on your own. As a professional, is it important to know when you are being manipulated and to take change of what you consider to be truth and lies on many levels.
In Kantian ethics, one of the main philosophical beliefs for living an ethical life includes not using others as a means to an end. This means not using other people to get to where you want to be. Let's say, as an example, that a person treats you poorly and you truly have no other use for them other than their networking ability to fulfill your want of connection. In this scenario, you are no better than the individual I described above who rides your coat-tails. If you have no other use for a connection to a person other than their connection to other people, you are acting unethically. Therefore, this makes it ethical to distance yourself from said person.
Philosophical ethics have many view points on this topic. I am a huge believer in Kantian as well as Platonian ethics, and I believe that theses paradigms are relevant to the scenarios I listed above.
In Plato's Allegory of the Cave, true reality and one's perception of reality are challenged as being two separate entities. In essence, the story is about cave dwellers who have no access to the sunlight (or the truth), and use shadows on the wall (which are being produced by fire, not light) of the cave as a means to interpret the truth. This is similar to using rumors and gossip to infer a person's true character instead of approach the actual person. Toxic people utilize shadows to manipulate the truth and, unless you openly seek out the light, you aren't likely to find it on your own. As a professional, is it important to know when you are being manipulated and to take change of what you consider to be truth and lies on many levels.
In Kantian ethics, one of the main philosophical beliefs for living an ethical life includes not using others as a means to an end. This means not using other people to get to where you want to be. Let's say, as an example, that a person treats you poorly and you truly have no other use for them other than their networking ability to fulfill your want of connection. In this scenario, you are no better than the individual I described above who rides your coat-tails. If you have no other use for a connection to a person other than their connection to other people, you are acting unethically. Therefore, this makes it ethical to distance yourself from said person.
This is not to say that you can't be professional about cutting ties. Smile. Be kind. Bow out quietly. Go through the appropriate channels for removing yourself from the situation, but don't bend over backwards to continue allowing that person control you. The more professional you are about the matter, the better you look to others. As you stay composed, other people tend to become more unraveled and observers certainly notice. While people may not have the full story (at least on your end), your actions and how to treat that other person will speak louder than any lie or rumor they spread about you.
One of my favourite quotes is listed to the right, and I have lived by it in the past few years. To be honest, I have no idea who the real author of this quote is, but I can say that they are truly an introspective and emotionally intelligent person. I have no doubt they have read the Allegory of the Cave.
One last thought I would like to leave with you is what you can do when you are an observer in a situation like this. If you are in a group and you see an instigator who is making claims against another person's character, recognize that your silence can be mistaken as approval. This can serve to be self-affirming for the trouble-maker and only encourage their bad behavior. If you have a friend who is on the receiving end of such a negative relationship, then console them and support them in this time. Stepping in will often result in the same treatment being directed at you. If the defensive tactics come from the person the actions are directed to, then the push-back of the poor treatment is much more powerful. And finally, if the person causing a fuss is your friend, then you owe it to them to point out their negative actions in order to make them not only a better person, but a better physical therapist. If you are a witness, get yourself out of that cave as quickly as you can!
One last thought I would like to leave with you is what you can do when you are an observer in a situation like this. If you are in a group and you see an instigator who is making claims against another person's character, recognize that your silence can be mistaken as approval. This can serve to be self-affirming for the trouble-maker and only encourage their bad behavior. If you have a friend who is on the receiving end of such a negative relationship, then console them and support them in this time. Stepping in will often result in the same treatment being directed at you. If the defensive tactics come from the person the actions are directed to, then the push-back of the poor treatment is much more powerful. And finally, if the person causing a fuss is your friend, then you owe it to them to point out their negative actions in order to make them not only a better person, but a better physical therapist. If you are a witness, get yourself out of that cave as quickly as you can!
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